1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.
5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.
6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.
7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.
8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.
9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.
10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.
11. You are allowed to he angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.
12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.
13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.
didn’t get to do the tap out thing this morning but might be able to start it tonight. i have eaten avocado and a peach, and i drank only water. i am going to weigh myself later. i tryed giving myself red highlights but it doesnt look like it worked:(
tommrow me and my mom are going to start this workout video called tap out. its suppose to do wonders! also i am on a all veggie/fruit & only water diet. Im going to start my weigh in tommrow morning and i will do the day counting thing again. hopefully i can reach 100 pounds by the start of school. if i am not near it like 2 weeks before school no more eating! also i am going to start going to the gym again when i am cleared to drive, since i am on pain killers.
i ate today. i know fatass. but tommrow it will be gym starve all day also sunday. then monday i go to new york so no eating from then to thursday when i get back. then friday i get my wisdom teeth out so no eating then for 3-5 days.. just drinking yay! i really love when my mouth hurts:)
today I failed myself. I told myself to eat today the you won’t eat for a week. whatever that was the last time I am ever talking myself into eating. I’m not going to bother to weigh myself today. I go to new york Monday so I won’t eat then and we get back Thursday then Friday I get my wisdom teeth out so I won’t have to eat for 3-5 days! yippie so if I start over tommrow that will be 10-12 days without eating! then I’m gonna start going to the gym and not eating when I feel better! I’m excited!:)
140, i couldn’t believe it. i haven’t been this weight in almost a year. it was very depressing, but it did open my eyes to what i want and how to get it. this time is for real. no more giving up, no more saying i will start tommrow. this is it. this is the day my life will change forever. i plan on losing 60 pounds. because that is what will make me happy. and i plan on doing it in less then 3 months. i am gonna starve myself. and it will work i have done it before. i did only lose 10 pounds, but it did only take 5 days. i also didnt workout last time i did it, and i am going to workout this time. 7 times a week, 3 hours a day. and if i cant go for 3 hours, then at least 1 hour. no matter what. and i had a realization today. food is actually quite disgusting when you think about it. it has never done anything for me execpt cause me to gain weight, breakout, loose hope, and make me depressed. so goodbye food. this is my parting to you. i can’t and won’t ever be there for you again.( yes i will eat when it is ABSOULTLY necessary, but other then that, no. ) my goal weight is 80 pounds. i am 5’3” so that is a common weight for my height. when i reach it i am going to eat only fruits and veggies, and only water from now on till i die. i want to be at least 100 pounds by the time school starts, which is in 47 days. my parents might get suspicous but i think i can throw them off. also i am going to new york with only my mom next week and she will be too busy to notice i am not eating. then on the 20 i am getting my wisdom teeth out so for 3-5 days i wont even be able to eat! so yay for that! then when school starts i can bring a lunch and throw it away! easy as that…
well hopefully it works out! i am gonna blog my workout and weigh in every day.
havent written anything in awhile but I starved myself Saturday and Sunday last weekend then ate Monday-Thursday and didn’t eat yesterday and haven’t eaten anything today. I hope I can continue to starve on.
okay. so i ate like you wouldn’t believe today. i can’t even say what all i ate. it’s so stupid. well i’m staying up all night to burn off a few extra calories. then i am getting up early and going for a run. then i am not eating for the next two weeks!
i hate myself but i’m staying up all night to burn off some extra calories. also i am starting my only water diet today. which my be a little hard because it’s my sisters birthday and we have to go out to eat. but i will just say that i don’t feel good or something..
i had been starving myself for 2 days. and today was day 3. but my parents made me go to eat and i went crazy. so i probablly gained back everything i lost. but i still have the whole summer to not eat. so yeah.
i haven’t done great so far today. i had chips and a subway sandwhich but im going to do better tommrow. not eating anything untill i feel im going to pass out. it just isn’t worth this pain i feel 24/7. nothing will be right untill im skinny.
i ate enough for a army today. so from now on what i am going to do so that i don’t eat is whenever i have a craving to eat i will come on here and type all the reasons why NOT to eat. it might help. I think it will make me think and hopefully do the right thing. i want to look good for the 1D concert. so i have about 28 days to slim down. I want to really badly go to the gym tommrow. but no car. so this sucks ass. boo hoo!
had a cupcake today. I hate myself for it. i downloaded some apps to keep track of losing weight and to learn my BMI one says im overweight and one says im almost overweight, i want to be UNDERweight. I don’t care if it’s unhealthy i just can’t stand being like this anymore. I can’t wear anything without looking like a hippo. CW:unsure but asuming around 140 GW:100 Height:5’3
Haven’t been staying true to myself. I’ve had a rough couple of days. My parents are pretending like i don’t exist and it’s hard when they truley could care less about you. I’ve been in my room all weekend and haven’t talked much. I really can’t go on like this anymore. I need to be happy. I DESERVE to be happy. I just hate myself so much. Nobody asks me to hang out anymore. I don’t have any friends and summer is almost here. Just one more week. What am I going to do? Spend it all alone in my room? Most likely everyone hates me. And i don’t blame them. I am annoying, stupid, terriablly ugly, and such a bitch. I just can’t wait to get out of this goddamn town. Just one more year. If i make it that far. Anyways haven’t eaten today thank god. Really need to start losing weight. I mean I weigh 134 at 5’3. What a fucking pig. I hate myself so much. I just cant bare to be alive right now. But i’m going to try and make things better. Not like i haven’t been trying for the past 2 years. But whatever. Nobody cares, but they will.
Ok so i put off my diet, and now i have a fatass body for spring break. Thank god we aren’t going anywhere and I can stay home and shed the weight. Well I know i should of started today but yesterday we went to the grocery store and got tons of fattening foods, so I’m starting tommrow. I did go to the gym today, but it did nothing. I weighed in at 134 today. Im starting my diet, and doubling my gyms hours for the rest of the break I’m hoping to lose 10 pounds by the end of spring break. I am hoping I can stay strong throughout this break.